The 11th Hour Dispatch – Monday, March 12, 2018

| March 12, 2018

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BINGE WATCH

A+E Networks CEO Nancy Dubuc has left and is reportedly in “advanced talks” to replace Vice Media co-founder Shane Smith as Vice’s CEO. If this were the case, Dubuc, who helped build A+E Networks into one of Walt Disney Co. and Hearst Corp.’s most profitable enterprises, would be inheriting Vice in an…interesting time. Several top-tier execs have been released amidst sexual misconduct allegations and the company missed 2017 financial projections by around $100 million. 

YOUNG MONEY

Apple has acquired the “Netflix of Magazines,” Texture. Subscribers to the service get unlimited access to over 200 magazines. This gives Apple not only a new company in its collection (which it will probably integrate into Apple News in some capacity), but also a direct line to the world’s biggest publishers, including Condé Nast, Hearst, Meredith, Rogers Media, and KKR. Oh and I forgot to mention that Apple is officially within arms’ reach of that elusive $1 trillion dollar mark, as its stock price hit an all-time high of more than $922 billion today. Grab your black turtlenecks and begin your fruitarian diets that you believe eliminate your body odor. It’s time to cosplay like our ruler, Steve Jobs.

BIG BUSINESS

Not convinced that traditional TV is going to have to switch things up to stay afloat? Let these numbers punch you right in the noggin. Top pay-TV providers lost 1.5 million subscribers in 2017. That’s double the 2016 loss. Satellite TV companies DirecTV and Dish Network took the brunt of the blow. The companies were only able to slightly offset their losses with new sign-ups for their streaming services, DirecTV Now and Sling TV, which gained 711,000 and 888,000 subscribers, respectively. The six cable operators — Comcast, Charter, Mediacom, Altice, Cable One, and Frontier — also lost a combined 660,000 pay-TV subscribers, which is a major jump from a loss of 275,000 the year prior. In conclusion, if you’re staying in for the long haul with your traditional TV, honey, you got a big storm comin’.

WHAT GOES AROUND

Evoni Williams, an 18-year-old Waffle House waitress from La Marque, Texas, was awarded a $16,000 scholarship after a photo was snapped of her cutting an elderly man’s ham after he told her “his hands don’t work too good.” I’m not crying. You’re crying.

NOTHIN’ BUT ‘NET

If you missed the premiere of the American Idol reboot, you missed America’s new obsession, Noah Davis. Wig.

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